As soon as the pregnancy was confirmed she talked to the boy. Conversation went out like this. girl – G, boy – B.
G – (hesitantly) hey dear I think I am pregnant.
B – (shocked) how is it possible, we used precautions, have you cheated on me with someone else. This is not my child, it is not possible.. and some more cursing words.
G – (heartbroken) how can you say all this, we are together since last 5 years and this is the result you are giving me. How can you blame me when both of us chose to be together and intimate.
B – I don’t know, I haven’t done any mistake, you have cheated on me now go to hell with your child. Don’t ever call me again.
G – felt almost dead and said sure now I will not call a bastard like you who does not have the guts to accept his own blood and disowned me also after knowing such an important thing of my life.
Boy disconnected phone and switched it off. He never tried to contact the girl.
Girl now stood strong and decided that she will continue her child (she could have opted for abortion but she said its my 1st child and i can’t do injustice to it for a stupid guy). She had to face a lot of criticism from family and friends. Her family asked her to leave home and go away as they didn’t want society to tell them anything and for the sake of their so called image.
She lived some time with some other good friends who supported her during her hardship. Thankfully she was working with a good firm so she could manage to get her rented house and her daily expenses could be met through her salary.
She gave birth to a very beautiful baby girl and decided to stay alone in life only for her baby.
I don’t know what kind of strong personality you have but I guess you are open enough to ask for suggestions and I appreciate that. First I tell you how our society see these kind of women:
- Characterless, who has slept with many others and the child has to be one of them.
- She is the talk of the town woman. If you are leaving in a so-called respectable residential complex, you would often get notice from the secretary to leave the society as this will create a bad impact to their children. Seriously.
- Almost every people will stare at you like they have seen someone with unusual look.
- Then there are people, who constantly knock at your door to place you on spotlight with questions like ‘what happened, how, who is that man’, ‘you should talk to him and request him to get married with you’, ‘how would you manage your child when s/he will ask him who is the father’, ‘a girl should be in limits, you shouldn’t have done this’- as if you have committed the world’s most heinous crime.
- You are often advised by people to abort the child as it is ‘Naajaayaz’ or illegitimate – Please don’t even think of that. You are a proud mother. Your parents might think no one will marry you after knowing that you have a child, but a right man will accept you with your child. Or else, be independent mother. We have so many.
- Quite scary and unfortunate- but there are some guys who will think you are an open book and let’s read few pages of it as you can easily get hooked up with anyone. Just give a tight slap on their faces. Seek Police help, if they can’t then seek human rights help. They can protect you.
The whole point of writing something so long was to say, that this was one time I felt incredibly proud of my country and realised how fortunate I was to have been born Indian. Because despite having a conservative social structure, we have the laws that let women make a decision. And it’s because of our civil society and an aware citzenry that we have such progressive laws. An adult woman can choose to have an abortion in India and she doesn’t require anyone’s permission or consent. That’s a really big deal and very few South Asian countries can boast of this. Even the USA has frequent debates regarding abortion laws, Ireland, an European country doesn’t allow medical termination of pregnancy. In India, the law supports women and recognises her right to choose what happens with her body. And I just want every woman in India to be aware of our rights as citizens. Don’t go to shady clinics and fall for their traps.
I’d just like to add, that in India you can abort up to 20 weeks of pregnancy without requiring anyone else’s consent. After that you will need a court order to abort. I don’t understand the logic. I’ll just say that, if you know that you’re pregnant, make the logical decision, the right decision for you and don’t dilly dally. Decide soon.
In case of pregnancy resulting from rape/abduction too, post 20 weeks, the situation is quite sad. Some months back Gujarat HC stopped a woman from aborting as she was past the stipulated period of time, even when she was raped and kept in captivity and had no way to abort. Yeah, it’s pretty screwed up even now, and we have a long way to go.
Nonetheless, what we can do is be aware of the rights we have as of now, spread more awareness and encourage more positive dialogue on abortion.