I was discussing something important with a friend. About marriages, dowry and respect. In the conversation, she told me that this is something that needs to be said.
This is what I feel needs to be said.
A marriage is about merging of two souls, and not two family egos. Whether it’s an arranged marriage or a love marriage, two people really should stand up for themselves. I have seen friends and cousins getting married, and I have heard all the inside stories as to what a guy’s family’s demands have been and how much a girl’s parents try to fulfill them, only for their daughter’s happiness.
I am not against money being spent on marriage. Of course it’s a celebration of a new beginning of two people’s lives, but it in no way means that you forcefully ask the other family to spend lavishly on the wedding according to your standards.
When two people get married, they choose to spend their lives together. It is a mutual decision on both ends. When one isn’t forcing the other to get married, why should one family force the other to spend as much as they want?
Instead, I feel this is how it should be. Both families should arrive at an estimated budget for the wedding in an open discussion, and should spend the amount equally. It is that simple. Set an amount, divide it and spend as per your interests. At least this ensures that no family has to spend too much forcefully, and everybody is happy from within.
A friend got engaged in a love marriage, and he told me that his parents aren’t asking for dowry, because he loves her, but they want a lot other expensive things to be done as per their wishes.
The first thought in my mind was, if he loves her and wants to be with her, then why can’t he stand up for himself, for what’s right and show some self respect?
Why is it hard for a boy to talk to his parents and tell them that this is my life and my decision. I am capable enough to make money and I have my self respect. I don’t want you to use someone else’s money for your inessential wishes.
Lets show some compassion.
Lets be kind.
“We are equals” and When you ask for dowry, You are selling Me”.
In Case We’re Meeting for the first Time,
HI! I’m Shivam Patel, ‘The Monotonous Panda’.
Thanks for Reading my article